I saw this on a news site on Monday, and after convincing myself that it was not a prematurely emitted April 1 bit, I savored every word, and alas, every stream of mental imagery. And, of course, I publicly traded inappropriate quips with other well-intended citizens on this legit news post. But I was aware that a truly funny person would do so much better. And, lo, today you have revealed to the rest of us the Platonic Form of humor embedded here. For this, we armchair comedians thank you.
This used to be the logic behind a late night monologue: Something funny happens, everyone jokes, but at night, the pros get their turn. Kind of like shooting hoops with your friends but then you also watch an NBA game.
there was a podcast a few years back (A Typical Disgusting Display) where a few comedy writers would do weekly “Johnny jokes,” or Dave jokes or Jay Jokes or Norm jokes etc as seemed the appropriate category. I loved it, and even tried it for a few weeks with my friends.
My friends were…..polite lol but didn’t write any themselves which somewhat decreased the fun .
You look at the skills involved in cornhole, and it's not far off from, say, bowling. And we take pro bowlers seriously, right? Also I think some of the mockery comes, obviously, from the name "cornhole." If they labeled it what it really is, sack-hole, I think the prestige would follow.
"There’s a condescending, Instagram story-style way of portraying disabled people that basically treats them as inspiration fodder — they’re not just like non-disabled people, they’re better! As if a disabled person shrewdly swapped some ability in exchange for an unimpeachable moral compass."
See, once again, Forest Gump. (And I like that movie!)
Can you extend this sharp observation about human nature to other identity groups whom I've been assured are incapable of bad acts? Such as "woman kills 8 people in Tumbler Ridge" assuring us that the group increasingly committing violent acts is *women*, nothing to do with the transgender crowd as long as we don't mention it. They've suffered so much more discrimination than natal women after all.
Ok fine but that photo raises more questions because this man is Patton Oswalt.
Pro cornhole players should go by cornholio.
He's going to be really disappointed when he finds out the type of cornhole they play in prison.
I saw this on a news site on Monday, and after convincing myself that it was not a prematurely emitted April 1 bit, I savored every word, and alas, every stream of mental imagery. And, of course, I publicly traded inappropriate quips with other well-intended citizens on this legit news post. But I was aware that a truly funny person would do so much better. And, lo, today you have revealed to the rest of us the Platonic Form of humor embedded here. For this, we armchair comedians thank you.
This used to be the logic behind a late night monologue: Something funny happens, everyone jokes, but at night, the pros get their turn. Kind of like shooting hoops with your friends but then you also watch an NBA game.
there was a podcast a few years back (A Typical Disgusting Display) where a few comedy writers would do weekly “Johnny jokes,” or Dave jokes or Jay Jokes or Norm jokes etc as seemed the appropriate category. I loved it, and even tried it for a few weeks with my friends.
My friends were…..polite lol but didn’t write any themselves which somewhat decreased the fun .
“Cornhole pro” also really sounds like an anti-gay slur that got mistranslated from another language. "
Jeff, you are the Christopher Hitchens of 2026 tabloid murders.🤣
Thoroughly enjoyed this one, Jeff. There will be no questioning my annual renewal.
A woman of true taste! Thank you!
Once ChatGPT ingests this headline, people are gonna get some weird answers to questions for a while.
Not to nitpick, but I don’t think he’s quadriplegic? He’s a quadruple amputee, but he has full use of his residual limbs.
Clearly this is the most important fact here.
You know, you’re right, but I think it’s too cumbersome to change now.
We've come a long way since a one armed man almost got away with the murder of a doctor's wife.
"You SWITCHED THE SAMPLES!"
It's like reality is being written by an AI who watches Family Guy too much.
You look at the skills involved in cornhole, and it's not far off from, say, bowling. And we take pro bowlers seriously, right? Also I think some of the mockery comes, obviously, from the name "cornhole." If they labeled it what it really is, sack-hole, I think the prestige would follow.
Well, off work today, lets see if there’s anything on substack I can make rude jokes about…..
********reads headline****
****breaks into song*****
🎶🎶Suddenlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Life has, new meaning, to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🎶🎶🎶
"There’s a condescending, Instagram story-style way of portraying disabled people that basically treats them as inspiration fodder — they’re not just like non-disabled people, they’re better! As if a disabled person shrewdly swapped some ability in exchange for an unimpeachable moral compass."
See, once again, Forest Gump. (And I like that movie!)
Can you extend this sharp observation about human nature to other identity groups whom I've been assured are incapable of bad acts? Such as "woman kills 8 people in Tumbler Ridge" assuring us that the group increasingly committing violent acts is *women*, nothing to do with the transgender crowd as long as we don't mention it. They've suffered so much more discrimination than natal women after all.