Americans Want to Be the Good Guy
What's more American than America First?
The genre of Europeans visiting for the World Cup and shitting their bikini-cut Euro briefs over American culture has — predictably — jumped the shark. Though the first round of folks brought to spontaneous orgasm by a gas station in Alabama were undoubtedly sincere, the attention they gained has spawned copycats. For example: One of the posters who experienced a Saul-on-the-road-to-Damascus-type moment when confronted with the splendor or ranch dressing turned out to be an OnlyFans model trying to drum up business. Who could have guessed that the beautiful woman on social media flattering us with undeserved praise had an ulterior motive? That’s a real “No Virginia, there’s not a Santa Claus” moment for me.
Still, some of the cross-culture love was real. “Freddy” — the original good-vibes Euro tourist — has been showered with gifts from NFL players, the governor of Utah, and others. The Algerian team had in a charming mutual suck-fest (metaphorical, as of press time) with the town of Lawrence, Kansas. There have been countless examples of European/American cross-puffery, and it’s not just those two groups: There was the Congolese guy singing his anthem and getting back-pats from Colombian fans, the crestfallen Japanese guy being cheered up by Brazilian fans — it’s a complete It’s a Small World hippie dippie love-in out there. Which is a reminder that though most of us are douchebags, we don’t want to be douchebags, and occasionally let our non-douchebag side win a few rounds.
Which brings me to DOGE’s cuts to USAID. When it comes to short-term damage wrought by the Trump administration, those cuts might be the single most tangible effect. But — IMHO — many of the people who argue that the cuts are bad fail at describing why they’re bad. I think there’s an argument for foreign aid that would resonate with the 80 percent of Americans not presently perched on their stoop cradling a shotgun in case a Haitian tries to eat their cat. But unlocking support for foreign aid — and for a more collaborative, less-Trumpy foreign policy, generally — requires a better argument about what we’re doing and why.
