I remember a cracked article from like 20 years ago about life on a nuclear submarine. The best joke was that you didn't want to touch the walls of the shower because it was covered in the crusty semen of crusty seamen.
How much of the reaching for things to take down Platner comes from the pure shock that the party who brought you "OK signs are clear and undisputable proof of white supremacy" looks at a Nazi tattoo and goes, "well, who knows what that could mean?".
Can you imagine trying to do oppo research on this guy? You already basically shot him with a nuke, so now yea, you're throwing everything at him because who the fuck knows what these people will think is too much?
What gives them the right to criticize our service members for releasing some tension?? I’ve stroked the salami in worse places for less; so, so much less.
A Lord Haw Haw reference, in 2026, from an American writing political comedy on the internet? I think Jeff must have been getting his column ideas from my Grandmother...
Be honest: how much of this post was principle, and how much was a desire to make as many euphemisms and references to masturbation as possible?
0% and 100%.
I remember a cracked article from like 20 years ago about life on a nuclear submarine. The best joke was that you didn't want to touch the walls of the shower because it was covered in the crusty semen of crusty seamen.
Speaking of Yank, now I get the true meaning of lines 3-4 of George M. Cohan’s WWI anthem “Over There”:
Over there, over there,
Send the word, send the word, over there,
That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming,
The drums rum-tumming everywhere.
How much of the reaching for things to take down Platner comes from the pure shock that the party who brought you "OK signs are clear and undisputable proof of white supremacy" looks at a Nazi tattoo and goes, "well, who knows what that could mean?".
Can you imagine trying to do oppo research on this guy? You already basically shot him with a nuke, so now yea, you're throwing everything at him because who the fuck knows what these people will think is too much?
What gives them the right to criticize our service members for releasing some tension?? I’ve stroked the salami in worse places for less; so, so much less.
This is an instant classic, lol. So many great lines.
A Lord Haw Haw reference, in 2026, from an American writing political comedy on the internet? I think Jeff must have been getting his column ideas from my Grandmother...
Love this!
I've always wondered why there are so many public fountains?
This post is why I subscribe! Excellent!