The James Comey indictment was arguably a tad sloppy. The case was rushed to court by Lindsey Halligan, an insurance lawyer appointed by President Trump last week after he forced out a prosecutor who wouldn’t bring the indictments Trump wanted. Ms. Halligan is 36, has only appeared in federal cases involving Mr. Trump, and has never prosecuted a case. She indicted Mr. Comey on two counts related to allegedly lying during congressional testimony, but the process of getting there was apparently quite bumpy.
When Ms. Halligan entered the courthouse to indict Mr. Comey, she reportedly walked into the wrong room. When she found the right room, she stood on the wrong side of the judge. She then gave the judge two contradictory indictments, and when the judge was confused, Halligan claimed to have no idea where the second indictment came from. When the judge pointed out that the mystery indictment had Ms. Halligan’s signature on it, Halligan explained, saying: “Okay. Well.” The process was called “junior varsity” and “a clown show” by a retired prosecutor from Ms. Halligan’s office, and the indictment attributes words to Comey that he did not say.
I Might Be Wrong has obtained a full transcript of the indictment proceedings. How? Don’t worry about it. Do you want to know how the sausage is made, or do you want to just eat it and shut up? I thought so. Anyway: The transcript is presented below, unedited.
Are Hot Idiots the Future of Politics?
***Hey! I plan to do Komey Klass next week, so please send your incisive social commentary/dumb bullshit to komedyklass@imightbewrong.org. One piece will be picked to serve as the jumping-off point for a discussion, and the others will provide jokes for me to steal.
We Should Have Taken Trump Literally, Not Seriously
What’s your most cherished Liberation Day memory? Decorating the Liberation Day tree? Sharing some laughs with your neighbors at a Liberation Day block party? Mine is watching the entire field of economics have their brains explode as they discovered the spacetime-altering stupidity of Trump’s tariffs. Here’s a window into the general mood on Econ Twitter:
The real chain of event could have been a joke. A hapless prosecutor Trump shoehorned in goes into the wrong room and says she didn't see an indictment that has her signature on it. It's one of these increasingly frequent events that read like a parody but actually happened.
Haha, sick burn dude. Third one in like a week.
Meanwhile, voter support for Democrats is cratering as the party can't get out of fundraising mode and back to the winning elections mode.
Maybe fewer sick burn posts and more "yeah yeah Trump bad but here's what we need to do about it: better policies and candidates and fewer sick burns."