I can see your confidence in your audience is rising because there's no disclaimer that the author isn't really "Former Vice President Harris" like there was in some previous satire articles.
Really funny!! But you left out her manner of speaking -- which never sounds like any way a real human would talk. In fact that may be her worst characteristic.
Hey, Sorkin has the same problem when writing female characters ... some of whom have been female vice presidents of the United States, some of whom have been trapped in walk in freezers.
I haven't laughed this hard in a while: "Even if you didn’t recognize me as Vice President — and most people don’t — then surely an unidentified corpse in your freezer is worth a call to the Dayton Gazette. Or do you come across corpses so often that no one bats an eye? Did someone just find my body and go 'Uh oh, we got another one! Commence corpse disposal protocol!'”
Everything that is happening is in these documents. It can be used as a way to fight back. Crimes against humanity. Hilter created what was called 25 points to Nazi Aggression to take over Germany and other nations. It is a good read. Identical to what is happening now. First they have to destabilize the government. Take people right to medical care. Divide the nation. And isolate the US from others. It is a good read. Elon Musk is a foreigner that hate Americans but have benefited from our money. The biggest benefit he gets from destroying peoples lives is the kickback from DT is access to our data. He will use this to create algorithms to privatize everything for billionaires using foreign labor. This about greed, control, and destruction. Trump was bought from Elon Musk. He doesn’t have the ability to think of all this stuff. He is just a puppet. Let’s go after the real players. They are not protected with immunity.
Trump and his army of robotic followers stand poised to annihilate democracy in the grim present, wielding a vicious arsenal of hateful policy and regressive ideologies. He revels in boasting about his so-called accomplishments and the iron grip he has over his mindless minions. Yet beneath that blustery facade lies an insecure, crumpled boy, trembling with fear—just like those he commands. The pitiful souls who rally around him are nothing more than drones, obediently executing the whims of their so-called "excellency."
However, the Democrats, Independents and whoever else dislikes what is going on must once and for all reject the dangerous notion of overthrowing the billionaires through means that circumvent the sacred framework of the Constitution. If they adhere to the conditions laid out within the Constitutional framework, the revolution they yearn for could seamlessly transform into a flourishing democracy—one that truly serves the people, rather than the insatiable greed of the billionaires. Instead, these Trump automatons and devoted MAGA acolytes are fervently defending the opulent privileges of billionaires, willing to sacrifice everything for a cause they will never truly belong to. Their loyalty is misplaced, tethered to the illusion of grandeur while they march blindly into the abyss, unknowingly sealing their own fate in the service of their elite overlords.
This is your time. You should get back out there and run again. This was supposed to happen this way. The country needed to see this. Let’s start now. The world is waiting for you.
Absolutely hilarious! And, also, WTF was Lloyd Austin doing? Health privacy from the President and your own deputy is not an option when you’re responsible for military operations worldwide and we’re funding 2 active wars, not to mention tensions with Iran and Houthi rebels.
I can see your confidence in your audience is rising because there's no disclaimer that the author isn't really "Former Vice President Harris" like there was in some previous satire articles.
"The vice presidency is not worth a bucket of warm copypasta word salad.” -John Nancy Garner (they/them)
Really funny!! But you left out her manner of speaking -- which never sounds like any way a real human would talk. In fact that may be her worst characteristic.
I Might Be Wrong's guest columnists always sound a lot like me -- I guess they study IMBW's voice before they submit their columns!
I don't know; I thought "shaved young cam girl Paula Fox!!!" had her own voice. Perhaps that's why Substack keeps censoring her..
Hey, Sorkin has the same problem when writing female characters ... some of whom have been female vice presidents of the United States, some of whom have been trapped in walk in freezers.
Wife said I can’t shake the bed without sharing -- so you have another reader now.
I haven't laughed this hard in a while: "Even if you didn’t recognize me as Vice President — and most people don’t — then surely an unidentified corpse in your freezer is worth a call to the Dayton Gazette. Or do you come across corpses so often that no one bats an eye? Did someone just find my body and go 'Uh oh, we got another one! Commence corpse disposal protocol!'”
So so funny, had me laughing all the way through. Sparing a thought tonight for all VPs who met sticky and icy ends.
This is what you were up against.
Everything that is happening is in these documents. It can be used as a way to fight back. Crimes against humanity. Hilter created what was called 25 points to Nazi Aggression to take over Germany and other nations. It is a good read. Identical to what is happening now. First they have to destabilize the government. Take people right to medical care. Divide the nation. And isolate the US from others. It is a good read. Elon Musk is a foreigner that hate Americans but have benefited from our money. The biggest benefit he gets from destroying peoples lives is the kickback from DT is access to our data. He will use this to create algorithms to privatize everything for billionaires using foreign labor. This about greed, control, and destruction. Trump was bought from Elon Musk. He doesn’t have the ability to think of all this stuff. He is just a puppet. Let’s go after the real players. They are not protected with immunity.
Trump and his army of robotic followers stand poised to annihilate democracy in the grim present, wielding a vicious arsenal of hateful policy and regressive ideologies. He revels in boasting about his so-called accomplishments and the iron grip he has over his mindless minions. Yet beneath that blustery facade lies an insecure, crumpled boy, trembling with fear—just like those he commands. The pitiful souls who rally around him are nothing more than drones, obediently executing the whims of their so-called "excellency."
However, the Democrats, Independents and whoever else dislikes what is going on must once and for all reject the dangerous notion of overthrowing the billionaires through means that circumvent the sacred framework of the Constitution. If they adhere to the conditions laid out within the Constitutional framework, the revolution they yearn for could seamlessly transform into a flourishing democracy—one that truly serves the people, rather than the insatiable greed of the billionaires. Instead, these Trump automatons and devoted MAGA acolytes are fervently defending the opulent privileges of billionaires, willing to sacrifice everything for a cause they will never truly belong to. Their loyalty is misplaced, tethered to the illusion of grandeur while they march blindly into the abyss, unknowingly sealing their own fate in the service of their elite overlords.
This is your time. You should get back out there and run again. This was supposed to happen this way. The country needed to see this. Let’s start now. The world is waiting for you.
Oh how I wish this was true...
Really not funny. And I usually love your stuff. Oh well.
Absolutely hilarious! And, also, WTF was Lloyd Austin doing? Health privacy from the President and your own deputy is not an option when you’re responsible for military operations worldwide and we’re funding 2 active wars, not to mention tensions with Iran and Houthi rebels.
This is almost too cute. Unfortunately we haven’t seen anyone with any “responsibility” at a high level in the US gov’t for a couple of decades...