56 Comments
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Caroline Pryce's avatar

I don't have a smart comment to make but this really made me laugh.

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Miles vel Day's avatar

Taking December through March off has always been my only dream. It's what bears do. I am intrigued by Zoroaster's ideas, and would like to subscribe to his newsletter.

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Field Observer's avatar

Great piece, although having just emerged from the uni environment myself I can say that the “who is the most oppressed minority” Olympics still reins supreme over the “who has the most disabilities to accommodate” Olympics, at least in inter student relations. This was in a British university though and we’re always slightly downstream of whatever bats*** trend is the latest to emerge from our friends across the pond.

I can say though as someone with a pretty substantial medical history with multiple bouts of cancer, diagnosed autism and OCD and a genuine reason to think I *do* have ADHD, having my college take one look at my medical history, s*** itself, and say “Take this nice en-suite ground floor room for three years and don’t sue us”, isn’t exactly something I’m going to complain about.

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Walker's avatar
18hEdited

I am now even more in awe of those Stanford undergrads who ascended to the summit of American higher education and found academic success despite all the many profound struggles, systemic barriers, and limitations caused by disabilities they faced along the way. Truly inspirational!

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Chris O'Connell's avatar

I was under the impression that all these maladies cured themselves upon graduation.

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John BC's avatar

You must not be employed by an organization that hires recent grads of these high-status institutions.

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ronetc's avatar

Because it sounded not entirely dissimilar to other cultural insanities reported in actual "news" sites, I was not sure the post was sarcasm and hilarity-inducing comedy until I got to "sports psychology komodo dragon." And even then, with what I have seen as service animals in airports, I was not too sure.

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WJ Hayes's avatar

Oh man, I realized I'm late in sending out my Maidyarem cards this year

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Frantic Pedantic's avatar

God it makes me sound ancient, but these kids are absolutely coddled beyond all sanity in a way that vastly exceeds anything I remember, and I was in college in the late 00’s. It strikes me that the verboten ‘social contagion’ theory might well apply here too, not just to girls overidentifying as trans.

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Paul Ollinger's avatar

My daughter gets extra time for her very real dyslexia. But this is still hilarious.

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Worley's avatar

I'm reminded that even a few decades ago, it was noted that the state with the highest average income, Connecticut, was the state with the highest percentage of students with diagnosed learning disabilities. But that was after the "if you've got dyslexia, you get more time on tests" thing, which made a diagnosis really, really valuable if you're competing in the SAT Derby.

Eventually, the ETS counterattacked with a new testing system that didn't give any benefit to unlimited time.

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Miles vel Day's avatar

As it happens the rates of anxiety and depression are very high among college students because, believe it or not, drinking is really bad for you mind and body!

A lot of these kids would be fine if they just stopped "partying." I know that I should have when I was that age and didn't. Ended badly.

Also, restless leg syndrome is real, and I get it sometimes, as a (permanent) side effect from medication I used to take. It's annoying but I would never call it a "disability" (what "ability" don't you have?) and you can usually fix your symptoms by, y'know. Getting up and walking around a little.

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Nic Bryant's avatar

Less than have of GenZ drinks (down 20% from Millennials). Gen Alpha in college now drink even less. Maybe getting up and having a pint with other people in “meat space” would actually help with all that diagnosed iPhone-related anxiety…

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Miles vel Day's avatar

Fair enough.

It’s very much a “different strokes” situation. Social media and drinking are both perfectly healthy for a lot of people. Maybe even a majority! And some might be well served by more “IRL” activity, while some may be well served to cut back on the sauce. Far from black and white. Thanks for the comment.

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Walker's avatar

I thought the youth of today had turned against alcohol?

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M. Trosino's avatar

> (what "ability" don't you have?) <

A question that should be asked a lot more often. Props on your comment.

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Pongo2's avatar

The daily cannabis dose a lot of them are taking doesn't help either.

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Chris O'Connell's avatar

Cannabis is known to cure both Sarcastic Bowel Syndrome and echolocation hypersensititivity.

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Pongo2's avatar

Don't spread misinformation! Every other case of cannabinoid hyperemesis I see says they're smoking weed because it helps their sarcastic bowel

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Cernunnos's avatar

Definitely a trenchant take on what is normally Freddie DeBoer's beat. It was from his blog that I learned of the Hipster Cane phenomenon, and now I see it everywhere. The tells are easy to spot once you know what you're looking for: a younger person, possibly wearing a mask, walking with an unusually stylish cane but not putting any weight on it. I saw a lot of them out and about this Summer!

I guess the trade-off for any accommodation one gets is that you have to walk with a cane for the rest of your life; if you don't need it now you will eventually.

What I've observed is that generally the younger generation's obsession with their own health challenges does not appear to be cynically deployed -- they appear to genuinely see themselves as uniquely afflicted.

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Just A Dad's avatar

Hilarious and spot on. I'm on a budget but will never cancel my I Might Be Wrong subscription. Really appreciate how Jeff shines a light on the absurdities that quietly crept into our culture.

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JorgeGeorge's avatar

C-Dog (white college boy bet he secretly wants to be a rapper)

is a little light on skin tone, but ok.

Blind applications, am I right?

Seriously, the coddling of the young is getting out of hand. Where do they put all their emotional support animals during class? Are their emotional support animals having more sex than them?

Inquiring minds want to know.....

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Blue's avatar

Felt conflicted about this one.

I agree claims about accommodation can be overused. That said, I was diagnosed with ADD (guess it’s now ADHD) back in the early 90s.

The accommodation of “time and a half” was very helpful for me completing exams (in some cases) in undergrad and grad school.

I’ve also been let go from one position because I didn’t learn on the job quickly enough. Having a learning disability sucks, but you can only use so much.

I now currently work for local government with supervisors who allowed more patience for learning new assignments.

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Charles Boespflug's avatar

I appreciate your humility and willingness to look in the mirror first, and, with respect to your personal situation, it sounds like you're just who such accommodations are designed for, (and through helping you, all of us have benefitted economically and socially). But what if nearly every other one of your classmates had used similar accommodations? I bet you'd have suspected something was fishy.

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Blue's avatar

>But what if nearly every other one of your classmates had used similar accommodations? I bet you'd have suspected something was fishy.

The “time and a half” request doesn’t necessarily bother me for other classmates. At the same time, I can understand why organizations have tight deadlines and why my learning disability might not be a reasonable accommodation.

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Toby's avatar
10hEdited

This is frighteningly close to not being parody, but I still laughed my butt off - and now I’m asking for an accommodation for my no-buttitis

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