42 Comments
User's avatar
The Curious LP's avatar

“One day more, another day another destiny!” I loudly sing as I shovel toiletries into a garbage bag and flip off the CVS worker

Sam Cole's avatar

Also, I have to point out that the moral of the bread-stealing incident is not "bread-stealing is always perfectly morally justified," but that "grace can forgive wrongdoing!" After the Bishop saves Jean Valjean from going back to jail, he tells him, "Jean Valjean, my brother: you belong no longer to evil but to good"--not "Hey man, good work with that stealing stuff. Right on!"

Tony Bozanich's avatar

What if you engage in a monomaniacal quest for revenge against a giant leg-biting whale as a form of radical praxis?

WJ Hayes's avatar

You'll get cancelled by PETA

Hortense of Gotham City's avatar

"Rationalizing theft because of my tale is like rationalizing animal abuse because Fred Flintstone used a bird as a record player."

Thank you!

Brad's avatar

The bird always looked pretty happy.

Don P.'s avatar

It’s a living!

Former Dem's avatar

Ok in fairness, he only used the bird's beak as the *needle* on a record player.

Just a Random Guy's avatar

It sometimes seems that modern progressive-left approaches to crime and social order are based entirely on the belief that everyone who breaks the law is specifically Jean Valjean as played by Hugh Jackman. Not the one in the book, not even the one in the film, but the one they saw in a GIF meme on a self-righteous post on Tumblr back in 2013 or whenever.

Dillon Eliassen's avatar

Can you blame them? Hugh Jackman's been stealing hearts since his Australian musical theater days...

Alexander Kaplan's avatar

"You wouldn't download a heart."

April Petersen's avatar

His singing I could take or leave

William Adderholdt's avatar

If the choice is between Hugh Jackman's singing and Russell Crowe's, I will take Jackman's in an instant.

Lucidamente's avatar

On the bright side, France after the revolution of 1830 was where you could buy all the daguerreotypes of sexy grisettes with bared ankles that would fit in your steamer trunk for the trip home to Dysenteryville-on-Avon.

Jeff Maurer's avatar

I guess there are *some* ways that their world is like ours.

Seattle Guy's avatar

I wish there was some way to get this 100% truly authored essay in front of the Seattle City council, King County council, and the entire WA state legislature. I have sat through so many neighborhood outreach/BIA type meetings where zero elected officials understood the fentynal addicts forcing CVS to put toothpaste under extra lock and key are not the direct spiritual descendants of Jean Valjean. I've said that to them, but I'm just a nut who cares about leaving things nicer for everyone else.

Cernunnos's avatar

Did it ever occur to you that people tearing copper wire out of the walls or sawing off catalytic converters might be doing it to FEED THEIR FAMILIES?!?

Seattle Guy's avatar

I think they're mostly feeding their untreated addictions.

Minimum wage is Seattle (no skills, fresh out of high school or whatever, Subway, Taco Bell, McDonalds) is $20.76, plus benefits (legislated). But you may believe if you wish that they are their version of Jean Valjean, and people like me are Janvert. (sorry if I have the reference wrong). Be well -

Cernunnos's avatar

"Hey kids, good news! We eat tonight -- catalytic converters for everyone!"

Cernunnos's avatar

(Sorry -- my point is that stealing bread that you then feed to a child bears little resemblance to most of the theft I see in the non-fictional city I inhabit. In short I'm agreeing with you.)

Tom's avatar
Apr 28Edited

Hot take: Les Miserables and Victor Hugo are overrated because of people who've only seen Les Mis or read the abridged editions of the book.

When you read the whole thing, you find out that A. Hugo had a giant man-crush on Napoleon Bonaparte and B. He was very much in the "can't make an omelet without breaking eggs" crowd, fully endorsing the Revolution's crushing of the Vendee and Chouan revolts (during which the government in Paris killed somewhere between 300-400,000 peasants), on the grounds that they were merely acting out of parochial interests (read: they were staunch Catholics) rather than for the good of France. And don't even get me started on his whining in the forty pages he spends on the Battle of Waterloo about how it just isn't fair that the stolid, boring British beat the gallant, noble, and dashing French.

ronetc's avatar

That is some range of peasants, from 300 to 400,000. Gotta be in there somewhere.

Dillon Eliassen's avatar

I have a hard time Jean Valjean actually wrote this since he's aware of the Flintstones' record player. "Eh, it's a living..."

Paul Zrimsek's avatar

Les Insufférables.

Cernunnos's avatar

Tous les gendarmes sont des bâtards!

Randolph Carter's avatar

Who is this girl

What sort of devil is she

To have her lemons of sin

And talk about it so free

Robert G.'s avatar

While Jean ValJean is mentioned, he is not central to how Piker or the other one justify petty theft.

In their mind, shoplifting avocados is acceptable because Whole Foods have already "stolen" them by swindling the people who picked them, transported them and put them on the shelves. A better fictional comparison would be someone like Aladdin(who they mentioned), Bilbo Baggins (who stole a ring from someone who had obtained it immorally) or Ali Baba (who stole from thieves).

Their nihilistic argument is that "theft" is a meaningless term when ownership is illegitimate. They would still consider it immoral to take something they believe legitimately belongs to someone else (such as food in a city-run grocery store) but don't recognize the legitimatcy of most ownership. Would you consider it immoral to steal from Tony Soprano?

They go a little farther and argue that stealing from an illegitimate owner is even a moral good as it is a way to communicate the illegitimate nature of their ownership. Similar to how Robin Hood stole from an illegitimate government(as John was a usurper) or Gandhi did not follow the British law when collecting salt.

I don't really find their argument convincing (for reasons that are probably uncontroversial here) but it's a little different than how many people are interpreting it.

Shaun's avatar

So they would also find it a moral good for someone to steal from them? If so, I applaud their consistency, but any moral good that results strictly in societal bad has to be looked upon with skepticism.

Robert G.'s avatar

No, not if they believe that their own ownership is legitimate.

WJ Hayes's avatar

Interestingly, Vidocq also appears in 'The Black Tower' by Louis Bayard (the guy who wrote 'Pale Blue Eye' which became a movie starring Christian Bale) which is set during the Bourbon Restoration (After the Fall of Napoleon but before Les Mis) .

Randolph Carter's avatar

OR

There's an asshole who owns the cloud

Running around all corporately

He says stealing is not allowed

So I steal lemons and I'm proud