For the lawyers: This is a bit. None of this happened. (Except for the part about the DSA being stone fucking broke — that happened.)
For fans of the podcast: This piece probably WILL be read in the podcast on Sunday.
The Democratic Socialists of America is facing a financial crisis. In a note to members, DSA leadership revealed a two million dollar shortfall against a seven million dollar budget. I Might Be Wrong’s intrepid team of investigative reporters have obtained e-mails between a member of DSA leadership and an outside accounting firm that describe the severity of the crisis . Those e-mails are below.
Damn I Miss the Republican Party
**NOTE: People are asking which pieces will be read on my podcast. This one will probably NOT be read on my podcast this week.** When I was a kid, there were these people called Republicans. They were a stern, joyless lot; if you hit a baseball into their yard, they’d give you a 20 minute lecture about responsibility instead of just throwing it back. They wore sweaters and went to church, and they called anything edgier than The Partridge Family “the devil’s music”, which was a pretty solid advertisement for the devil. My granddad was one of these people, and so was my Scout leader, and so was every asshole who handed out raisins on Halloween.
This is absolutely hilarious and why I consistently say that Jeff is my all time favorite "Liberal/Progressive". He actually possesses a highly functioning Brain. This piece coupled with yesterdays "Damn, I miss the Republican Party" continue to give me hope that we "normies" on both the Left and Right can join together to form some sort of "Commonsense Party".
I am a life long conservative who is now completely "Politically Homeless". Will someone please start a new party soon? Jeff Maurer should be the primary Communications Director for this new entity. Hell, I'll even donate real money!
Keep up the great work, at least I get to laugh once in awhile!
They should start paying their workers using DSA currency.
Great parody! (If it is a parody.)