Ja, Waffle House Ist Gut
And so is what it represents
Who will win the World Cup? To answer that question, I turn to the number one name in sports betting: Yoko Ono.
A bold prediction. Alas, it was wrong: The World Cup has been won by the random German soccer fan traveling through the American South tweeting everything he encounters like he’s discovered Shangri-La. Here are some examples of this modern-day Alexis de Tocqueville’s work.
I love this guy — he’s going to make it hard for me to keep my negative stereotypes about Germans. Don’t get me wrong: I will keep my negative stereotypes about Germans — I’d lose my membership in the Comedians Guild if I didn’t. But it’s hard to not be won over by a positive guy having an awesome road trip while evoking Robert Smigel’s The Baby, the Immigrant, and the Guy On Mushrooms sketch.
And Freddy is right about several things, including: Waffle House is good. There’s a type of person who would try to gaslight us into believing that chain restaurants are bad, and by “a type of person” I mean “communists”. Godless, beatnik communists. These people are not only wrong on the specifics — if you covered a piece of rebar in as much butter, salt, and cheese as chain restaurants use, it would at least be okay — they are wrong about what chain restaurants and mass production mean for quality of life. Because large-scale processes that create good products for low cost are modern miracles in every way deserving of the awe of your ordinary, everyday Josef Sechs-Lager.
