11 Comments
User's avatar
Alexander Kaplan's avatar

No deep thoughts here, but that survey was genuinely hilarious.

Expand full comment
Gavin Pugh's avatar

I think another valuable aspect here is: once you've got your audience on the same page with a familiar concept, you can start veer off the beaten path.

Take the elevator operator section: it starts with what you'd expect from an elevator operator (friendliness, understanding), only then does it get a little off (gossip), and only THEN does it get to how many N-words are they using.

If the first question was "are they using the right number of slurs", you'd lose a lot of people. You have to get them to trust you enough to hold your hand before you can pull them off the road.

Expand full comment
NY Expat's avatar

Exactly. It’s sort of related to the “capper” that Jeff had mentioned before, but it’s about the process of getting to it.

And sometimes, as in Dumb And Dumber, putting another capper that’s even more absurd, which is basically what this one is.

BTW, I’m surprised that “elevator operator” is still well known enough to use? Over 40 years ago they were in the apartment complex my Aunt lived in, but one of them operated the automatic one, I assume as an agreement with the union to not lay off anyone. I also assumed they wouldn’t hire new people?

Expand full comment
Cian's avatar

I feel like this kind of falls into the same trope as "Arson, murder, and jaywalking". The crazy thing is made more crazy when it pops up in a context that was otherwise played straight

Expand full comment
Paul Ollinger's avatar

Note: Readers may want to turn on Incognito Mode before searching "Shaved MILF Literary Review"

Expand full comment
Shannon McBride's avatar

There's some saying about specificity being the soul of wit, or whatever. But I loved the glorious vagueness of whether the operator "used the N-word the expected number of times." I would typically expect zero, but who knows? It could be the elevator at RNC headquarters

Expand full comment
Greg Nix's avatar

I think that line works in part because it’s specific to the corporate tone angle. It offers no opinion on the correct number of N-words, just wants to make sure you were satisfied with them.

Expand full comment
Shimmergloom's avatar

You could probably do an entire bit about "The RNC, now with filters off."

Put a few obvious jokes in about politicians: Pence is a literal robot, don't ask how DARPA did it.

Veer toward: "we really hate trump" (because, um, of course they do, and they can't say it).

Then drop the slurs, at the end, once people are nodding along.

Alright, but the wicked thing to do is "The DNC, now with filters off" or maybe, if you have a decently educated audience, "The DNC, circa 1868." -- what follows needs to be "things that democrats have recently said" that are absolutely what the DNC would have said back then. Things like "you can't eat watermelon sold by a black man." (Given reasons differ.)

Expand full comment
Rob "Irony Man" Block's avatar

Hey Jeff, thanks very much for the shout out, and thanks to everyone who liked the piece and subscribed to my Substack. Now I'm feeling the pressure to get off my ass and start writing more!

Expand full comment
NY Expat's avatar

“It was my understanding that there would be no math”

Here is where I, a math guy and therefore a pedant, point out that the Samberg example is closer to crossword puzzle shit. Next time, keep it in your Shortz!

Expand full comment
Miles vel Day's avatar

Just want to give my strongest recommendation to the Seth Myers and Lonely Island Podcast. Quaid Army!

(I forgive their friendship with Jake Tapper.)

Expand full comment