23 Comments
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Herbert West's avatar

You sorely miss the point. The man not only saved us from killer tomatoes, he’s also Batman. It’s his destiny.

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Pittsburgh Mike's avatar

Haha, as the kids say. But the reason Clooney's column had value is that as a big contributor to Democratic causes, he gets to see the candidates up close and personal. So, he knows that Biden's debate performance wasn't just a bad night.

Maybe one of two bad nights, but the reports that Biden shows up at *fundraisers* with a teleprompter don't give me a warm fuzzy feeling, either.

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Jeff Maurer's avatar

Yeah, my all-joking-aside take is that Clooney’s op-ed performed a valuable service.

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Robert G.'s avatar

I'd say that Clooney is more politically qualified than a standard big donor. He does much more human rights work than just writing checks. His work in Darfur is legitimately brave as he's been personally arrested by Sudanese security forces for his protests. He personally funds a satellite to monitor the area and spoken to the UN about the conflict.. He's written on the topic for the NYT so it's not like having him write an editorial is something new.

My only complaint about the editorial is that it didn't include Brad Pitt or Matt Damon so he had someone to riff of off. Ocean's 11 is one of the greatest popcorn movies of all time. If the election gets too stressful, order a pizza and rent that for a night. For 1 hour and 50 minutes you'll be too lost in the pure early 2000s charisma to care about anything besides the biggest heist Vegas has ever seen.

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Lucidamente's avatar

What if said hunky actor sticks around for only five seasons before going off to become an A-list movie star? The Supreme Court might have to weigh in here.

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Jeff Maurer's avatar

Thankfully, Article VIII’s provisions center on the longevity of the SHOW, not on the hunky actor’s longevity on said show. The Constitution grants no specific powers to A-list movie stars because the framers were afraid of tyranny.

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JorgeGeorge's avatar

😄😁😆

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Ian Michael Lessard's avatar

God bless you, Jeff Maurer! I to felt a sense of peace yesterday upon hearing that, at long last, an Ac-Tor has entered the fray.

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Current Resident's avatar

I see from the NYT comments that many readers take issue with Clooney being a "rich white man." Could you point us to the amendment that would allow (nay, require) us to hear from Will Smith or Oprah? We've come far since believing that these celebrities are only three-fifths as famous.

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Miguel Cruz's avatar

The hero Gotham deserves

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Copyranter's avatar

As Substack's senior ad critic, I'm obliged to point out that the Creepy "Mr. Six" is played by stud British dancer Danny Teeson.

https://sixflags.fandom.com/wiki/Danny_Teeson

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JT in Texas's avatar

Excuse me, but Mark Green (aka Goose aka Anthony Edwards) will always be the hunky doctor from ER.

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Brent Nyitray's avatar

We always suspected the drama club kids ran the democrat party.

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tiredmoderate96's avatar

You’re right about this one!

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timcreen's avatar

Any theory of governance that can account for Zach Braff is based.

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Rationalista's avatar

I heard Patrick Dempsey is Biden ride or die, so when he writes his op ed we are in for a few more months of this Groundhog Day rerun.

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Theodric's avatar

Nice going, Film Actors Guild.

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WJ Hayes's avatar

Still have no idea who the Hawk Tuah Girl is. Nor do I care to find out.

(And alas, Wilson, a/k/a Earl Hindman, died just over 20 years ago)

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JorgeGeorge's avatar

Apparently she's some rando who's a blow job expert and shared a "one neat trick to drive your man wild" video that went viral. Seems she thinks adding

a thick ball of phlegm to the process is a winning formula.

I'll stick with perineum tickling.....

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Eric Karl Lindberg's avatar

As hilarious as this is, an Oscar, winning producer, actor, and entrepreneur who sold his business for $1 billion dollars, and turned down a 35 million dollar payday for one days work (airline commercial) is probably a little more on the ball. Patrick Dempsey could only wish to be a successful as George Clooney. You may not like the guy, and he has produced, directed, and acted in some dogshit movies, (also some GREAT ones that will live on long after he’s dead) Shit, if he ran for president, he’d win it in a walk. And do a better job than either of these fucking guys. But he’s not that stupid. Or couldn’t deal with all the comes with making decisions to destroy human beings on a daily basis. Either way, on this subject, he is not wrong. That said, great stuff as always?

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Dave's avatar

No one will be willing to replace Biden now. Might as well let the addled old man and his vacuous, cackling VP take the loss and wait for’28.

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