“The Common Man Is a Racist Douchebag” Is Not the Populist Message Some People Think It Is
In defense of John Q. Dumbfuck
As of this writing, Graham Platner scandals include:
A Nazi tattoo that Platner explains1 by saying (in so many words) “I know very little and make poor decisions — anyway, vote for me!”;
Being a man in his 40s who not only knows what Kik is, but who created a profile on that app with a semi-nude pic;
Texting with 28% of the female population of Maine while married;
An ex-girlfriend describing him as a hard-drinking, abusive asshole;
Serial lying about the provenance of the Gus T. Oysterman character that he plays and about the finances of his alleged oyster empire;
Enough assholish Reddit statements to make you want to swim to the bottom of the ocean and yank out the big plug that powers The Internet.
Those are the scandals as of this writing — 7:46 PM Eastern Standard Time on Thursday, June 4, 2026, Anno Domini. Though one suspects that Republicans might be sitting on a gargantuan opposition research folder that they’re going to drop on Platner like Wile E. Coyote getting crushed by an anvil the second it’s too late for Democrats to pick someone else.
But some Platner diehards have an interesting take on his scandals: They say that these revelations are not only not that bad — they might be net positives because they make Platner more relatable to “real people”. Here are some examples:
