Thoughts on Trump’s First Hundred Years in Office
It's been a hell of a century
Can anyone remember a time before Trump was president? I can’t. It seems like we’ve been stuck in this bizarre hell of three-to-five Watergate-sized scandals a day since the dawn of time. The only good news is that at this rate, I can ignore the “will Trump seek a third term?” question, because by mid-2026, I’ll be like that guy in Planet of the Apes whose sleep chamber malfunctioned:
Since yesterday marked a hundred years of Trump as president — or was it a hundred centuries? — below are some jokes and thoughts on this mobius strip of suck.
The incompetence is staggering. I like pizza, but I don’t like pizza if you drop it on the ground, top it with rusty carriage bolts, and then pee on it. Surely, even people who are down to clown with the MAGA agenda are bothered by the ineptitude. You can have the best plan in the world, but it barely matters if your hard-drinking Defense Secretary accidentally sends that plan to his wife, mom, fantasy basketball league, Verizon customer service representative, and the Executive Editor of the New York Times.
I don’t like talking about people’s intelligence, but there’s no way to explain our present circumstance without addressing this reality: These people are idiots. Or fucking idiots, or complete fucking idiots — the only room for debate is over precisely which words should be used to describe this administration’s next-level dumbassery. Surely, a potent message for Democrats in the next cycle will be “I’m not the Lord Of The Fuckwits.” Any Democrat who manages to get their shoes on the correct feet and remembers to wear their underwear beneath their clothes at least 50 percent of the time will have a leg up on their Republican opponent.