18 Comments
User's avatar
Erin E.'s avatar

I'm just angry about how much of this I wasn't taught in school.

Joel's avatar

I went to a black metal high school, so the contentious debate was whether to teach ambient doom or funeral doom.

On a related point, the prom sucked.

SRS's avatar

Whew ... thanks for this, it's very reassuring. I was so worried that China would beat us thanks to our rotten schools. I'm not worried anymore.

Chris's avatar

This was so great, Mrs. Maurer. Tell your son this makes up for his soccer-less account

I-270, Exit 1's avatar

The Left hopes, Mrs. Maurer, that your syllabus addresses Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity with non-white-male metal bands like A'rkan, Bloodywood, Cyntia, and The Hu. Besides, "DIE" will be eye-catching on the parents' night powerpoint.

Mark's avatar

This should go Platinum!

MZ's avatar

This is a perfectly inverted mcsweeneys.net piece. You’ve mastered the form.

Shawn's avatar

That kid with the raised hand is going to say Reload, isn’t he?

Jeff Maurer's avatar

Yes, and then he's going to be held back a grade.

Tony Palermo's avatar

How do you feel about goth vs. emo?

Jeff Maurer's avatar

Some say that 2006, when "The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance came out, is the real founding date of this country. I'm not convinced.

Stxbuck's avatar

Sisters of Mercy vs. any emo band=Godzilla vs. Rainbow Brite

Stxbuck's avatar

Aaron Lewis from Staind is the new Charlie Daniels…old school country with a message..

Red's avatar

This column rocks. But seriously, its been all down hill since Led Zeppelin.

Ann's avatar

You’re kidding?

Mark Cecelski's avatar

Thank you very much for this! It makes me realize how much I have been out of touch with the teaching of music and am very happy that we have folks like the author teaching.

Brad K's avatar

The real question is, do we consider all of Pantera's discography as part of the written record, or does history begin with Cowboys from Hell