We Must Pretend for a Bit Like We’re Going to Tone Down the Rhetoric

Decency demands a week or two of lip service

Built from photos by Cytonn Photography and Sharefaith.

The attempted assassination of former President Trump has shocked the nation. Immediately after the shooting, many of us asked ourselves: How did we get here? Did our culture contribute to this heinous act? Though we still know little about the shooter’s motivations, one thing seems clear: We must go through a period of pretending that we’re going to dial down our rhetoric. The moment demands that we posture, feint, and play-act to the best of our ability. We must act like we’re going to take the high road for a week or two before we return to normal.

Our political culture has become toxic. Negative polarization — in which political activity is mostly motivated by hatred of “the other side” — is the dominant political dynamic of our time. Cable news and social media are wellsprings of invective that stimulate the rage centers of our brain. Politicians and media outlets are incentivised to heighten their language to absurd levels; checks on overheated rhetoric that once existed have been removed. And so, the grist of politics is ever-more-extreme language, with little thought given to how that practice shapes our world.

But a dramatic event focuses the mind. Blood was spilled, and a history-changing assassination was narrowly averted; the political dynamic is suddenly altered. It is now clear to everyone: We absolutely must, MUST have a period in which we pretend like we’re going to behave differently from now on. The moment demands resolute lip service and the most convincing facsimile of contrite determination that we can muster. If we can’t doggedly pretend like we’re going to change our ways, and keep up that act for maybe a week or two until the news cycle moves on, then we don’t deserve to call ourselves Americans.

The left must tone down our criticism of Trump until he does something to remind everyone what a huge asshole he is. He is, after all, the victim, so we have to go easy on him for a bit — those are just the rules. Our teeth gnashing over the fact that the shooter was a 20 year-old registered Republican, and therefore probably not radicalized by, say, Rachel Maddow, must remain subdued. So too must our whinging that Trump is the single biggest encourager of violence in American politics, and that the assassin used a rifle that we’ve long tried to ban. We need to just kind of not say that shit for a while, maybe a week. Though it could be less than that, because North Carolina gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson — who has a history of extreme statements including that unspecified enemies “need killing” — speaks at the Republican National Convention this week. So, if Robinson does his regular schtick, then our biting-our-tongues period might only last a few days.

Trump must pretend that he’s going to try to usher in a new era of civility. His convention speech should contain a few token lines about coming together before he launches into a scorched-Earth tirade about how Biden’s America is a hellscape that makes The Road Warrior look like Disneyland. Trump must realize that he can undercut Biden’s “return to normalcy” message by mouthing some pablum about civility, and a nation that feels bad that he got shot at will pretend not to know that he’s utterly full of shit. Also, Trump should wait until at least next week before resuming his regularly scheduled programming of calling his enemies criminals and losers hell bent on destroying America. He must show leadership by pretending to attempt a fake effort at a superficial feint towards civility. The moment demands no less.

It is crucial that during this period, we all pretend not to know that we will revert to calling each other racists and pedophiles the nanosecond that this cooling off phase is over. Like an alcoholic at an intervention who has no intention of going sober but wants everyone to get the fuck off his back, we must put up a front for a bit before we can go back on the sauce. Democrats must act like we don’t know that Biden — who can no longer make a serious argument that he’s fit to serve another four years — is going to try to win an election purely by arguing that Trump is worse. Likewise, Republicans must act like their nominee isn’t just a roast comic whose entire appeal is based on mockery and hate. This knowledge must be swept under the rug for a bit, otherwise it could make our bogus period of phony civility seem insincere.

More than anything, though, when this phase ends in a week, two tops, we must not draw attention to our mutual hypocrisy. Much like two frat guys who got drunk and tugged each other off in a hot tub, we must wordlessly agree to throw this event down the memory hole. After all: To acknowledge the disconnect between the paeans to civility that we’re making today and the batshit lunacy that we’ll enthusiastically upvote tomorrow would suggest that today’s rhetoric is in any way sincere. That is unfair: What we’re saying today is not sincere. It is a ritual that we go through when something bad happens and we don’t know what to say and don’t want to look like assholes. We are itching — dying — to go back to gaining political advantage by calling each other Nazis and communists. And we absolutely will, after this hallowed period of fake comity is observed.

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