35 Comments
User's avatar
Tim Hartin's avatar

“I think the cleric top row middle — Mohammad-Ali Movahedi-Kermani — might be latino”

Latinx, bigot. Sometimes I just can’t even with you people.

JorgeGeorge's avatar

May that word be buried in the dustbin of history. Funny joke, but I still cringed.....

Lucidamente's avatar

At least they have a strong DEI program (Death to America, End Times Are Near, Infidels Must Die). And the book, How to Be Anti-Enlightenment by Ayatollah Ibram Khendimeni, is a big seller.

Shaun's avatar

Jeff, are you not going to address the fact that Iran is so far ahead of its time, that not only did it provide gender affirming surgery decades before the west made a big deal about it, but actually MANDATED such surgeries?

Give the Ayatollahs their due, Iran is an LGBT+ paradise (minus the LGB and +)!

Mike Kidwell's avatar

Oof. I laughed and cringed at the same time.

Brad's avatar

#AyatollahsSoWhite

Justin Barber's avatar

In all fairness, nobody has had a chance to ask the new Ayatollah what their pronouns are, yet.

Human Being's avatar

I’m sick of the unrealistic beauty standards that all of these Ayatollahs reinforce through their thinness. When will we get an Ayatollah of size? Better yet, an Ayatollah who’s unapologetically fat, femme, and fierce?

bichuga's avatar

It's really a shame! Probably because all the Ayatollahs of size are working two jobs in a food desert which also happens to be a desert desert.

Inger's avatar

#AyatollahsSoMale

Dapa1390's avatar

The whole ayatollah thing is just a popularity contest.

Always Raining's avatar

Funny. We have a felon child rapist when we could have had a woman president. So why don’t we talk about that??

I'd Use My Name but Internet's avatar

Because, not every single feakin post, every single day, on every single MSM outlet, reddit cluster, substack post has to be about the orange demon.

Pan Narrans's avatar

People do, in fact, talk about Trump sometimes. More often, I'd wager, than they talk about who's going to be the next Ayatollah.

Pan Narrans's avatar

You're being silly. The photo makes it perfectly clear why women can't be Ayatollah: beards are mandatory.

Lucid Horizon's avatar

Does Iran have no circuses? No freakshows? Surely they can dig up a Bearded Lady somewhere. And there are false beards, too.

Jazzme's avatar

all our gods have been men. that's why we should all go back to the old ways of Poly gods that were both men and women....but even here ZUES had a penis. so ya...all our gods have been men.

You got a problem with that....I do. think athiest

Cleverberry's avatar

Christian Scientists have "Father Mother God." (I do not recommend Christian Science, however.)

Andrew's avatar

At least atheist have Susan Jacoby and Ayn Rand. We had what's her name but she jumped ship. oh well

"Oh, yes, it's ladies' night

And the feeling's right

Oh, yes, it's ladies' night

Oh, what a night!"

Oh, and Sarah Silverman! (I think.)

I'm stayin.

Amie Barnett's avatar

I didn’t read the article yet but appreciated the OG Onionesque headline so much I commented first.

Kimo's avatar

Jeff, one of your best ever. Mahalo nui from O’ahu!🤙

JordanB's avatar

They don't need to.

AncientLisper's avatar

Nepo-ayatollah. Love it!