It is an important story. The drama club kid's day in the cultural sun is over.
Their outrage (which is a LOT more than a few randos in Blue Sky) symbolizes a sea change. 2024 was the end of their reign politically, and the Syndey Sweeney ad was the end of their reign culturally. Nobody is going to be jawboned into thinking Lizzo is attractive any more. The Drama Club Kids reigned supreme for the past 20 years.
There is a crapton of schadenfreude out there watching the septum rings cry about Nazism and Eugenics and seeing that they no longer have the power to make culture march to their tune. Because (a) people realize their arguments are disingenuous bullshit and (b) they are really annoying people.
Wokeism has jumped the shark. Politically in 2024 and culturally today. That is the story.
They’re so pathetic these days . If you guys are so smart with your advanced degrees then why do you confuse genetics with eugenics???? Next I guess they’ll cry genocide when she flashes her tittles 😎
Battle of the Boobs (simpler/low-effort but more descriptive)
The Décolletage Dissension (sounds like a sorta weird John Grisham novel or something)
The Great Melon Melée
The Titty Tussle of 2025
The Rack Rumpus
The Madness, Killing, and Anger Over the Magnificent Mary-Kate and Ashleys (ok that one’s probably a stretch, tbf)
Contretemps of the Cans
The Knockers Knockabout
The Hooter Hostilities
Ok I’m gonna stop now; that’s probably/definitely more than enough for the moment. Clearly something got my neurons bouncing—er, firing on all cylinders; can’t imagine what, though… Man, if only we could harness the energy of these atomic tits, we could end climate change tomorrow, I’m sure of it.
Laughs aside, let's remember that our oh-so-professional legacy media ran with this when they could have ignored it. Social media is the boss in most newsrooms.
I dunno dude, maybe all those old paintings of beautiful, busty Bavarian beer maidens were just the product of men’s horny imaginations, but the modern incarnation of that truly wonderful Oktoberfest tradition seems to indicate that such women were probably knock[er]ing around back then as well. Somehow I don’t think the boobs were their main problem, but I’m open to correction!
All well and good, but... I'm not so sure about you covering Ms. Sweeney's decolletage with unprecedented "rigor and zeal." That's making me slightly uncomfortable.
I like to think that he just wrote the article with the placeholder [tits] for every reference then went back through afterwards and added his favorite ones in
Finally, a column for Jacob Fuzetti that he might enjoy writing.
Finally! Serious journalism!
I look forward to the link exposing these milk cannons in all their glory!
America deserves this!
#freethenipple
It is an important story. The drama club kid's day in the cultural sun is over.
Their outrage (which is a LOT more than a few randos in Blue Sky) symbolizes a sea change. 2024 was the end of their reign politically, and the Syndey Sweeney ad was the end of their reign culturally. Nobody is going to be jawboned into thinking Lizzo is attractive any more. The Drama Club Kids reigned supreme for the past 20 years.
There is a crapton of schadenfreude out there watching the septum rings cry about Nazism and Eugenics and seeing that they no longer have the power to make culture march to their tune. Because (a) people realize their arguments are disingenuous bullshit and (b) they are really annoying people.
Wokeism has jumped the shark. Politically in 2024 and culturally today. That is the story.
Gee, uhh... Thanks for the update. I guess.
We hoped that shark jumped in 2020. This better not be a head fake 🤨🤣
I think the beginning of the end was the Dylan Mulvaney fiasco and the all-clear signal was the Sweeney ad.
I suspect it is dead and not in remission, but the as Peter Hitchins has always said: "The authoritarian Left never rests."
They’re so pathetic these days . If you guys are so smart with your advanced degrees then why do you confuse genetics with eugenics???? Next I guess they’ll cry genocide when she flashes her tittles 😎
I hear Ken Burns is scrapping his American Revolution documentary to film a ten-part series on Ms. Sweeney’s rack. Working title, “The Cleavage Wars.”
Battle of the Bulg[ing Denim Overalls]
Battle of the Boobs (simpler/low-effort but more descriptive)
The Décolletage Dissension (sounds like a sorta weird John Grisham novel or something)
The Great Melon Melée
The Titty Tussle of 2025
The Rack Rumpus
The Madness, Killing, and Anger Over the Magnificent Mary-Kate and Ashleys (ok that one’s probably a stretch, tbf)
Contretemps of the Cans
The Knockers Knockabout
The Hooter Hostilities
Ok I’m gonna stop now; that’s probably/definitely more than enough for the moment. Clearly something got my neurons bouncing—er, firing on all cylinders; can’t imagine what, though… Man, if only we could harness the energy of these atomic tits, we could end climate change tomorrow, I’m sure of it.
Edward Ashton, Jr. for the win!
I can't wait for the Jacob Fuzetti deep dive on this topic.
I'm looking forward to the *Paula Fox* take on the topic. That's up her alley, if you get what I mean.
Laughs aside, let's remember that our oh-so-professional legacy media ran with this when they could have ignored it. Social media is the boss in most newsrooms.
Eugenics has always mainly been about great tits.
This was truly the problem plaguing Nazi Germany back when silicone boob implants weren't a thing.
I dunno dude, maybe all those old paintings of beautiful, busty Bavarian beer maidens were just the product of men’s horny imaginations, but the modern incarnation of that truly wonderful Oktoberfest tradition seems to indicate that such women were probably knock[er]ing around back then as well. Somehow I don’t think the boobs were their main problem, but I’m open to correction!
Long-time paid subscriber, first-time cheap hack trying to promote my own post in your comments. I somehow got drawn into a deep dive into this very shallow pond... https://nickasbury.substack.com/p/genes-memes-and-manufactured-dissent
Good piece. I might get around to writing one of my own about the motivations of those involved with the ad campaign. Spoiler alert: they like money.
Could be a huge story - be careful out there
I'm a regular Bob Woodward
You mean "Boob Woodward"?
I’m close to a Deep Throat joke but think I’ll leave it
I was going to old Simpsons territory, featuring Side-Boob Bob
Titler strikes again!
All well and good, but... I'm not so sure about you covering Ms. Sweeney's decolletage with unprecedented "rigor and zeal." That's making me slightly uncomfortable.
Be honest...did you do all of those euphemisms off the top of your head or did ChatGPT help with some of them? 😀
I like to think that he just wrote the article with the placeholder [tits] for every reference then went back through afterwards and added his favorite ones in
Thank you sir - that proper cheered me up - and I'm a lady! Still laughing :-D
I, personally, would prefer Ms. Sweeney's chesticles remain UNcovered, but you do you.
An exhaustive ranking of Jeff Maurer’s top three breast euphemisms:
3. Sweater cannons
2. Coconuts
1. Boisterous bazooms
She could be whiter!
You should read *my* devastating critique of the outrage over the outrage over the criticism of the outrage over...
Folks, we're in an infinite regress of S Sweeney commentary.