16 Comments
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Lucidamente's avatar

“And don’t get me started on escalators. The UN maintenance man, big strong guy, came up to me with tears in his eyes and said ‘Sir, I had a headache this morning a took a Tylenol before coming to work. Next thing you know, the escalator stops working the minute you stepped on it.’”

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Tampa Sunshine's avatar

Nailed it. Sometimes even good and talented comedians do trump, and they throw in one normal, lucid sentence to make some comedic point, and it stands out like a sore thumb. It's a very specific, extremely odd way for any human to speak (you can see ONE sentence in a transcript and immediately know the addled motherfucker who uttered those words). Well done, sir!

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Grisha G's avatar

So many brilliant lines in this one!

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ronetc's avatar

TDS is apparently deleterious to humor. Take two aspirin and try again tomorrow.

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Frantic Pedantic's avatar

F**k are you on about, mate?

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Sean's avatar

I want Cartoons Hate Her to do the voice over of this!

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PJ Cummings's avatar

This one slayed. Kudos, Jeff.

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Jay Moore's avatar

Nailed the tone. Bravo!

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Dan's avatar

I am only speaking from my own experience with Tylenol. Never liked the stuff - felt like my brain was off somehow. Trained as a dentist I trust my observational skills.

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Frantic Pedantic's avatar

Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it also causes autism or whatever.

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Karen's avatar

Jeff and Dan, I needed 'Crylenol' after that medical announcement. However, this brilliant piece of humor writing has put a smile back on my face again. Thank you. 😊

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Morgan Hobbs's avatar

There’s always Thalidomide.

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Layton's avatar

"The doctors and scientists…the so-called experts..." No, dumbfuck, they ARE the experts, mainly due to peer reviews and brutal scrutiny, not, "My sister's friend took Ivermectin and cured her COVID" folklore.

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Tim Hinchliff's avatar

I'm not sure you understand the peer review process.

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Oh good. He found the miracle cure for responsibility. It’s Tylenol. Not policy. Not honesty. Not therapy. Tylenol.

This reads like a man auditioning for sympathy while blaming his shampoo. If confusion were an Olympic sport, he’d take gold, silver, and the concession stand.

Spiritually speaking, blaming a pill for your soul is cute. It is also religion upside down. Worship the scapegoat. Keep the altar warm. Meanwhile the poor still get poorer and nobody asks where the prayers are.

Jimmy would say: “If Tylenol did this, it owes me royalties.” I say: if excuses had teeth, they’d bite the hand that feeds them.

Blessed be the ones who keep loving the world even when the loud voices try to sell you fear as a diagnosis. Speak truth. Show up. Do the work.

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