“And don’t get me started on escalators. The UN maintenance man, big strong guy, came up to me with tears in his eyes and said ‘Sir, I had a headache this morning a took a Tylenol before coming to work. Next thing you know, the escalator stops working the minute you stepped on it.’”
Nailed it. Sometimes even good and talented comedians do trump, and they throw in one normal, lucid sentence to make some comedic point, and it stands out like a sore thumb. It's a very specific, extremely odd way for any human to speak (you can see ONE sentence in a transcript and immediately know the addled motherfucker who uttered those words). Well done, sir!
The other odd thing about Trump is his accent. He sounds like a wannabe New York Jew. Not an actual New York Jew, a wanna be. Aka his accent is my mom's accent.
This was excellent and since we can all do a Trump accented interior monologue, if not an actual impression, who needs audio! Cartoons Hate Her impression also nails the meandering, never ending, stream of conclusions rambling very well.
Even though I am not a fan, I still feel honored that the President of the US had a guest column at a Substack I actually pay for. I deserve this since I'm not like those cretinous, treacherous, and downright duplicitous unpaid subscribers.
Maybe my own sense of irony is flagging as I age, but does it seem lately like a large party of commenters has stumbled unwittingly into Chucklin' Jefe's Guffaw Gulch, only to be shocked - shocked! - to find comedy transpiring within?
I am curious how using profanity is supposed to add to your point? Even you seem to recognize the coarseness of your language, since you try to shade the obnoxiousness a bit by using asterisks, Apparently you do realize vulgarity is a trait that needs to be at least partially concealed. Is the supposed shock value worth being a person who employs slovenly language?
Thanks for the advice, Mike, but it's a serious question. Why do people think using profanity adds to the value of their comment? More or less the same with ALL CAPS and counting the number of exclamation points!!!!!, I guess. Perhaps the difference is, I am a very old person from a time when rational discussion was valued, not today's increasingly vulgar and rhetorically violent forms of communication. I just do not see what is gained by the vulgarity and exhibitionism.
Hmm. How do two rather preening paragraphs about one not-very-relevant word, all in an attempt to avoid answering the question you were asked to begin with, contribute to this "rational discussion" you say you value so much?
Put another way: why are you so invested in not saying what the f**k you were on about?
Hi Pam, great to hear from you again, hope you're having a pleasant day. Actually, I was not preening and not attempting to address Mr. Maurer's point of the main article. In my typically razor-sharp and laser-focused way, I was actually asking why commenters feel using profanity and obscenity, CAPS, and !!! helped make their points in any or all comment sections.
After some more thought on it, I realize almost no one is actually trying to change minds on any topic by rational and polite discourse. Almost everyone is as Buffalo Springfield noticed, "Mostly say[ing] hooray for our side."
It's like when an MC says, "Okay, the left side of the audience, shout out," then "now the right side shout louder and beat the other group." So, I guess, many commentators want to prove which angelic side of the political divide they are on and also show that their side has the most emphatic feelings . . . hence the eff word, scatological images, CAPS, and !!!!
Alas, as is all so often the case, I am so old I grew up in a time when rational discourse expressed in polite and grammatical form was the goal. I guess you young whippersnappers will just go on enjoying gutter expressiveness.
"The doctors and scientists…the so-called experts..." No, dumbfuck, they ARE the experts, mainly due to peer reviews and brutal scrutiny, not, "My sister's friend took Ivermectin and cured her COVID" folklore.
Putting "peer reviewed" in front of something is an appeal to an authority that doesn't have any authority.
Its something that came out of COVID where various commentators on all sides tried to give legitimacy to often very weak science.
If you've been in science for 25 years you'll know that in any topic there may be less than a hundred researchers who are well versed enough in the literature to be expert on that topic.
If knowledgeable peers are reviewing your work, then it's likely they share the same opinions on the topic as you, you may have worked with them and known them well and even be their friends.
It's also possible they don't share the same opinions as you on the topic, that you are in competition with you for funding and may despise you.
How would you expect to get unbiased review in either case?
Science is as political as any other topic. Peer review (which is also unpaid, time consuming and a hassle for many scientists) does not make a study's data better not does it necessarily fix methodological weaknesses in the work.
It's another meaningless term that many people use to give authority to the work that they think is more legitimate.
Peer review says that most medical studies are absolute ass and don't replicate worth shit. In the past ten years, I sat in the audience of a medical doctor at a reputable teaching hospital who said "the only evidence based medicine we have for stroke is asprin."
I'm sure you believe the CDC when they say ivermectin is not a nobel prize winning drug given to 10% of the world's (mostly illiterate) population, but is in fact horse dewormer (spoiler: it's both. Pretty safe if you know how to measure dosages. Which farmers do, as pigs and horses weigh different amounts.)
Oh good. He found the miracle cure for responsibility. It’s Tylenol. Not policy. Not honesty. Not therapy. Tylenol.
This reads like a man auditioning for sympathy while blaming his shampoo. If confusion were an Olympic sport, he’d take gold, silver, and the concession stand.
Spiritually speaking, blaming a pill for your soul is cute. It is also religion upside down. Worship the scapegoat. Keep the altar warm. Meanwhile the poor still get poorer and nobody asks where the prayers are.
Jimmy would say: “If Tylenol did this, it owes me royalties.” I say: if excuses had teeth, they’d bite the hand that feeds them.
Blessed be the ones who keep loving the world even when the loud voices try to sell you fear as a diagnosis. Speak truth. Show up. Do the work.
“And don’t get me started on escalators. The UN maintenance man, big strong guy, came up to me with tears in his eyes and said ‘Sir, I had a headache this morning a took a Tylenol before coming to work. Next thing you know, the escalator stops working the minute you stepped on it.’”
"Curb your enthusiasm" was a naked "Time to prank Larry David."
So, too, is Trump going to the UN. "Oops! Dead Elevator!" -- the entertainment factor is immense.
Nailed it. Sometimes even good and talented comedians do trump, and they throw in one normal, lucid sentence to make some comedic point, and it stands out like a sore thumb. It's a very specific, extremely odd way for any human to speak (you can see ONE sentence in a transcript and immediately know the addled motherfucker who uttered those words). Well done, sir!
The other odd thing about Trump is his accent. He sounds like a wannabe New York Jew. Not an actual New York Jew, a wanna be. Aka his accent is my mom's accent.
This was excellent and since we can all do a Trump accented interior monologue, if not an actual impression, who needs audio! Cartoons Hate Her impression also nails the meandering, never ending, stream of conclusions rambling very well.
Even though I am not a fan, I still feel honored that the President of the US had a guest column at a Substack I actually pay for. I deserve this since I'm not like those cretinous, treacherous, and downright duplicitous unpaid subscribers.
Maybe my own sense of irony is flagging as I age, but does it seem lately like a large party of commenters has stumbled unwittingly into Chucklin' Jefe's Guffaw Gulch, only to be shocked - shocked! - to find comedy transpiring within?
I want Cartoons Hate Her to do the voice over of this!
So many brilliant lines in this one!
This one slayed. Kudos, Jeff.
Donald Trump, you are a pathetic idiot. How did I end up on your Substack anyway?
Cute, but the Bee was more pithy:
https://babylonbee.com/news/pregnant-women-begin-downing-tylenol-in-hopes-sons-will-start-electric-car-companies-and-become-billionaires
Nailed the tone. Bravo!
I'm a lawyer and I knew it was a bit.
A great bit. A beautiful bit. A great big beautiful bit.
The BEST most AMAZING bit in the history of bits is WHAT I would say!!!!!
There’s always Thalidomide.
TDS is apparently deleterious to humor. Take two aspirin and try again tomorrow.
F**k are you on about, mate?
I am curious how using profanity is supposed to add to your point? Even you seem to recognize the coarseness of your language, since you try to shade the obnoxiousness a bit by using asterisks, Apparently you do realize vulgarity is a trait that needs to be at least partially concealed. Is the supposed shock value worth being a person who employs slovenly language?
Might want to go easy on the Tylenol, there, champ
Thanks for the advice, Mike, but it's a serious question. Why do people think using profanity adds to the value of their comment? More or less the same with ALL CAPS and counting the number of exclamation points!!!!!, I guess. Perhaps the difference is, I am a very old person from a time when rational discussion was valued, not today's increasingly vulgar and rhetorically violent forms of communication. I just do not see what is gained by the vulgarity and exhibitionism.
Hmm. How do two rather preening paragraphs about one not-very-relevant word, all in an attempt to avoid answering the question you were asked to begin with, contribute to this "rational discussion" you say you value so much?
Put another way: why are you so invested in not saying what the f**k you were on about?
Hi Pam, great to hear from you again, hope you're having a pleasant day. Actually, I was not preening and not attempting to address Mr. Maurer's point of the main article. In my typically razor-sharp and laser-focused way, I was actually asking why commenters feel using profanity and obscenity, CAPS, and !!! helped make their points in any or all comment sections.
After some more thought on it, I realize almost no one is actually trying to change minds on any topic by rational and polite discourse. Almost everyone is as Buffalo Springfield noticed, "Mostly say[ing] hooray for our side."
It's like when an MC says, "Okay, the left side of the audience, shout out," then "now the right side shout louder and beat the other group." So, I guess, many commentators want to prove which angelic side of the political divide they are on and also show that their side has the most emphatic feelings . . . hence the eff word, scatological images, CAPS, and !!!!
Alas, as is all so often the case, I am so old I grew up in a time when rational discourse expressed in polite and grammatical form was the goal. I guess you young whippersnappers will just go on enjoying gutter expressiveness.
So one of those Aspirin Council creeps got to you too, huh?
Transgender women don't belong in women's sports. You lost me by including that.
"The doctors and scientists…the so-called experts..." No, dumbfuck, they ARE the experts, mainly due to peer reviews and brutal scrutiny, not, "My sister's friend took Ivermectin and cured her COVID" folklore.
I'm not sure you understand the peer review process.
I've been in R&D for years and have experienced it first-hand.
Another Lord Trump troll?
I think Tim is just having a bit of a chuckle at you for thinking Trump actually writes this blog.
I'm ambivalent about trump and found this post highly amusing.
I'm not really partisan both sides are as corrupt as each other as far as I can see.
There are literally hundreds and hundreds of these articles:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1420798/
Putting "peer reviewed" in front of something is an appeal to an authority that doesn't have any authority.
Its something that came out of COVID where various commentators on all sides tried to give legitimacy to often very weak science.
If you've been in science for 25 years you'll know that in any topic there may be less than a hundred researchers who are well versed enough in the literature to be expert on that topic.
If knowledgeable peers are reviewing your work, then it's likely they share the same opinions on the topic as you, you may have worked with them and known them well and even be their friends.
It's also possible they don't share the same opinions as you on the topic, that you are in competition with you for funding and may despise you.
How would you expect to get unbiased review in either case?
Science is as political as any other topic. Peer review (which is also unpaid, time consuming and a hassle for many scientists) does not make a study's data better not does it necessarily fix methodological weaknesses in the work.
It's another meaningless term that many people use to give authority to the work that they think is more legitimate.
Peer review says that most medical studies are absolute ass and don't replicate worth shit. In the past ten years, I sat in the audience of a medical doctor at a reputable teaching hospital who said "the only evidence based medicine we have for stroke is asprin."
I'm sure you believe the CDC when they say ivermectin is not a nobel prize winning drug given to 10% of the world's (mostly illiterate) population, but is in fact horse dewormer (spoiler: it's both. Pretty safe if you know how to measure dosages. Which farmers do, as pigs and horses weigh different amounts.)
Oh good. He found the miracle cure for responsibility. It’s Tylenol. Not policy. Not honesty. Not therapy. Tylenol.
This reads like a man auditioning for sympathy while blaming his shampoo. If confusion were an Olympic sport, he’d take gold, silver, and the concession stand.
Spiritually speaking, blaming a pill for your soul is cute. It is also religion upside down. Worship the scapegoat. Keep the altar warm. Meanwhile the poor still get poorer and nobody asks where the prayers are.
Jimmy would say: “If Tylenol did this, it owes me royalties.” I say: if excuses had teeth, they’d bite the hand that feeds them.
Blessed be the ones who keep loving the world even when the loud voices try to sell you fear as a diagnosis. Speak truth. Show up. Do the work.